I’m Moving To Wentzville, MO
I’ve grown tired of living downtown in a walkable environment with a street grid of short blocks [mostly] filled with wonderful architectural gems. So I’m moving to Wentzville MO (map) where I’m guaranteed to never encounter a street grid, interesting architecture, pedestrians, etc.
I don’t like having to decide how I’m going to get from place to place (walk, bike, transit, drive, etc). In Wentzville the decision will be easy — the car! I may have to get a Hummer to help save G.M. Besides, with my new commute I’ll need a comfy vehicle. Gas is cheap today so why not?
Plus no more eating at locally owned restaurants, I’m going for chains now. That way when I leave Wentzville to travel I can be assured to get the exact same meals, regardless of what city I’m in. Don’t want to take a chance on anything different. I’ll still go to the local pub, Applebee’s Neighborhood Grill & Bar. It is just down the street a few miles in front of Wal-Mart.
I love my new ranch home that features a 3-car garage and 14 gables. Vinyl siding and a bit of brick on the front will be awesome! The four bedrooms will come in handy because, as of today, I’m no longer gay. I’m going to get me a wife and kids. And with kids you must raise them in the “country.” Wouldn’t dare expose them to those of different races or incomes. Going to the Mexican chain off I-70 is diverse enough.
And you get so much house in Wentzville. I’ll have the previously mentioned four bedrooms, three living areas and three dining areas plus the basement. Granted none of the dining areas will seat more than eight for dinner but we’ll all be eating in the “family” room in front of the big screen. I’m finally going to get that riding lawn mower I’ve always wanted so I can mow the 3 acre lot. I’ll have plenty of trips to Home Depot in the Hummer to get fertilizer to keep the lawn perfectly green and free of weeds. While I’m at Home Depot I’ll get a water purifier – how do chemicals get in our water supply?
I’ll take the whole family to events downtown, like wholesome concerts at the new Chaifetz arena on Compton. Yeah, when you live in Wentzville, anything in the City is downtown. Ah, the good life.
Happy April Fool’s day everyone! Like I’m going to trade my life for the above.
Most people in StL region do trade life for objects. Be grateful that the concrete jungle known as the New 64 will get you downtown in your new (and cheaper!) Hummer quickly to view the foolishness known as city living… isn’t Wentzville a city too?
I once worked with a guy who thought anything inside of 270 was downtown. Oddly enough, he wasn’t filled with the usual hatred and ignorance which possesses the majority of ‘burbers. And just last week I applied at a temp agency and the twit who collected the info refered to my address in Dutchtown as “downtown”. People are funny…and stupid.
Today in London is called “Financial Fools’ Day” and will involve four separate marches, with the themes of climate change, war, the economy, and homelessness and poverty. The four groups will converge on the Bank of England at midday, brandishing dummies representing bankers hanged in effigy. In the Lou region, the Infrastructure Fools at MoDOT are an integral part of underwriting your new life in Wentzville.
Yeah, hicks calling anything east of Lindbergh, 270, or Hampton “downtown” is one of my local pet peeves. DOWN is usually the operative term, as in, “O, I just love DOWN where you live! There’s so much rehab DOWN there! My grandmother grew up DOWN there!” It’s not just urbanite hypersensitivity, though to be fair, I don’t think most people who talk that way are deliberately seeking to disparage or offend. Their speech merely betrays an entrenched dismissal of the city that is at times so pervasive it is unseen by a substantial populace. Just like some old timers in the south who recall Jim Crow days of separate water fountains and such not fondly, but by saying we never thought about it; it was just the way things were, etc.
Another local peeve, not quite in the same order, is the rubes who refer to Tower Grove Park as “Shaw Park”, which is in Clayton. There’s the nearby Shaw neighborhood, Henry Shaw, Shaw’s garden, etc., which accounts for the confusion. It’s still annoying.
I think it’s been said before, but… We need the people in Wentzville and Chesterfield and even Clayton to believe that St. Louis city is the front door of this community and something worth investing in. Many of them are very happy in the ‘burbs, and I am happy for them. We would simply like for them to view “St. Louis” as a collaborative project, which means providing an engaged voice to community concerns and agreeing that what’s good for the city is good for all. Unfortunately, the job of selling them on these ideas is on us!
I just want to make sure that this post, though in jest, is not furthering the age-old divide between city and county. It’s fine to be critical, but let’s remember our role as city salespeople.
Interesting comment, studs lonigan. Just a couple days ago I was having a similar thought. I was thinking about the various projects going on to make St. Louis a better place, and wondered if they would ever happen, because, as you note, most people in this region don’t get it. They write off the city and any attempt to make it better because, a) they don’t believe it, and b), they sure as hell don’t want to pay for it.
So here we are, us 350,000 or so, representing about a tenth of the region’s population, up against the 2 million or so others who don’t much care one way or another about what happens within the friendly confines between Skinker and the Mississippi River.
It makes me wonder, how could we get them on board? The first response is, “fix the schools and you will fix the city”, followed usually by “get rid of the earnings tax and more people/businesses will move into the city”. These sentiments are great sound bites for the uninvolved. Fixing the schools and removing the earnings tax may or may not happen during this generation or the next. So what are we supposed to do? Move to Wentzville and wait?
I think we need to set an example of how a good community works together, making progress on our issues, supporting regional progress, and work block by block to make every neighborhood better. Then we have a shot at making our neighborhoods more attractive to the average person. And maybe we are succeeding. The 2010 census will tell a lot.
“I just want to make sure that this post, though in jest, is not furthering the age-old divide between city and county. It’s fine to be critical, but let’s remember our role as city salespeople. ”
Is it okay if I live in the city and not really care what people in the county think? Do I have the freedom to just enjoy city life and let what happens happen?
I’ve grown tired of the whole “sell the city” bit. Been there, done that and all it got me was heartburn.
If I find myself needed, I’ll get involved, but until there is some sense of cooperation on BOTH sides, I’m much happier concentrating on my own happiness and making my corner of the city the best it can be, the rest will work itself out.
Good stuff, Steve. The “fourteen gables” line cracked me up – what is it with these new houses and all their freaking gables?
We need a gable tax.
GM is ditching Hummer. If you really want to help them you need to buy a Chevy. You seem interested in a larger vehicle, I recommend a Suburban. Its even appropriately named for your new lifestyle.
On a more serious note. There lots of locally owned restaurants in the ‘burbs. Please don’t think the that city has cornered the market on that one. Just because you don’t know where they are doesn’t mean they don’t exist. But I am willing to admit the Appplebee’s are much more prevalent and easy to spot.
I read somewhere that the riot of peaks and gables seen on some sprawlsville flops is an unconscious (?) architectural attempt to recreate the illusion of urban density the occupants have abandoned.
What’s worse – suburbanites calling anything in the city “downtown” (something I’ve personally never heard of in my life), or St. Louisans calling anyone west of Skinker or the River Des Peres “hicks”? Remember, the ignorance and bigotry can go both ways.
Downtown to me is anything east of Tucker (12th).
So much house for the money! Is the argument so many gave me as they moved to the green pastures of St. Charles County. Snobbish as it may sound, I lost a little respect for every friend that gave up on St. Louis and moved into the confines of St. Charles County, Eureka or Arnold for that perfect mix to satisfy an ego or supposed large brood of offspring.
While I agree with you that everyone is needed in the region, The Sprawl here is indefensible as far as infrastructure required to ultimately satisfy this lifestyle of living 25-50 miles from the core, yet still be tapping into region resources.
Regardless of the defenses for it, this choice is part of the problems we face. Individuals are not alone, companies often go for “the campus” life. Claiming to build where the people live. Both sides essentially excusing the other. Governments in those communities then have to build the infrastructure to handle it.
I loved this article, even if it offends; Besides smokers can’t be the only ones f*ing up for everyone, let’s pick on someone else for awhile.
My use of the term “hicks” and “rubes” was not directed at everyone living west of anything, only at any people who express prejudicial ignorance of local topography/geography. I think that’s clear in my original post.
Just a thought…
The airport plays a regular commercial on their terminal TVs(directed at out of town visitors) showing a brief snapshot of things to do while you’re here and a welcome from the Mayor. This got me thinking, who is selling Saint Louis to Suburban Saint Louisans?
What if the Mayor or related group ran commercials on local TV about the benefits of living and working in the city of Saint Louis? There are a ton of commercials during the weekend for the benefits of living in NEW TOWN, but I never see any for Saint Louis City(city = “downtown†and surrounding neighborhoods).
City Hall relies on local news stories to sell STL city. Sports, traffic jams and murder stories are not doing a very good job of communicating the great reasons to live within the city limits. City Hall should not leave it to Quincy Troupe and KMOV to sell the city to our suburban neighbors. Who in their right mind would move to the 1st Ward after seeing him on KMOV? KSDK’s SHOW-ME STL spends most of their time in the ‘burbs!
The people on this blog(or similar) should NOT be the only ones selling the city. Our city officials are letting us down with a lack of support. The local government should invest in a larger population. Not only thru infrastructure but also through active communication. City Hall should aggressively advertise – not only to out of town tourists, but also, suburban tourists and to potential homeowners currently living in the surrounding counties. A marketing campaign can help change perceptions and create a movement towards the real city.
Why do people on this blog refer to downtown or even the city in general as “the core” of the region. Other than the fact that it is centrally located it isn’t the core of squat. Most people I know I have never lived in the city limits. Most people I know have never worked in the city limits. You have to go back two generations to find a time when the city was the core. It lost that title when the boomer jumped ship. If it wasn’t for the location of the stadiums and attractions in forest park, I would guess most of metro region would never enter the city limits. And it might not be as walkable, but where I live now, in the suburbs you hate so much, is closer to my job than a large portion of the city. And that job will never move to the city. So please tell my why I should move to the city to spend more time in my car.
Having said that, I will admit downtown is the face of the region. It is what people see when they come to visit. And for that reason I want it to grow into a world class center along with the rest of the city. As a metro area resident I try to support in anyway I can. However, sacrificing my kids education and future is not one of those ways.
PT – I agree. At the Boston airport, as you are leaving, you walk down a long hallway and they have announcements recorded by famous local citizens urging you to enjoy the downtown attractions. They have Ted Kennedy urging you to get a bowl of chowder at Legal Seafoods, and a Patriots player urging you to do something or another…
I would like to see more local people selling the city. If someone in the city is tired of selling the city, fine, but I wish more people would bother, including our public officials.
Freakin’ hilarious. Scary . . . but hilarious.
PT- I agree. I would gladly put in my two cents for free to benefit the real St. Louis. I think some of that marketing should focus on what a big small town it really is. I have the luxury to know all of the owners&managers and some of the workers of the places I frequent. And anyone who spends time there, has that same ability. It is the life I thought it would be and more. Downtown is not impersonal as stated by those not spending time there, but is in fact the opposite.
Spot on Steve!
Though there are a few non-chain restaurants in Wentzville. The only places I will eat when visiting my parents.
Its sweeping assumption to assume that St Louis city is the only reason that people live in the metro area, and anyone who lives outside the city is somehow avoiding the “natural” act of city living.
What about the railroad town of Dupo Illinois and many of its long time railroad industry residents? Duponians aren’t county residents but they are outside the city and enjoy the city even though they don’t live there. Many towns in the surrounding area such as Dupo grew in concert with the city of St Louis and they aren’t simply bedroom communities for the St Louis city workforce.
In fact St Louis itself only grew when Cahokia Illinois residents sought land across the river to avoid living in British territory after Brittain obtained land east of the Mississippi from the French. This provides a good analogy though: Cahokians whining about St Louis residents abandoning the area is similar to StL Citians whining about county expats.
Beware – Born and raised Wentzville “hick-burbian-anti-city” writing!
1st – I’m SO not a blogger but i stumbled upon your writings while looking for local st. louis beers, so when i saw Wentzville, i HAD to stop and read. All bloggers (or as I assume you think we’d refer to you as y’all) kept my attention and even got a few LOLs outta me. Yes, we might just need a gable tax. 😉
2nd – Yes, everything in the city is ‘downtown’ to us, but that isn’t necessarily because we lump all of you together or think of it badly. ‘Downtown’ to us is easier for us to describe the area we are going than to be specific, especially if we are talking to someone who has no idea where ‘Dutchtown’ or ‘Central West End’ or ‘the Loop’ even is. Think of it this way – to many of you, anything west of 270 is ‘out-there’ and if i told you my family lived in New Melle, would you have any idea where that is? Probably not. Therefore justifying lumping St. Charles County into one group, even though there is a definate 30+ minute driving distance between one end to the other, is valid for you to do.
3rd – Although I’ve never lived downtown, I think it’s a lifestyle choice for which ever option you choose. Let’s be realistic here. Sitting in traffic day-in and day-out, frequent honking horns, walking everywhere (in the rain or snow), paying higher prices for SOME items, not having a Wal-mart or Target right around the corner, smaller living spaces, parallell parking, etc. may not appeal to someone, much like driving EVERYWHERE (even the dry cleaners at the front of your subdivision or the bar across the road), living in a subdivision, dining at .. gasp… chain restaurants, or being 45 plus minutes from the “pulse” of STL isn’t up everyone’s alley either.
4th – The more rural the city, the more local taverns and restaurants you will find – not because some swanky cash investor wanted to open the ‘new’ vodka bar that was the IT place in STL, but because a mom & pop has great chili and decided to sell it to fill a void in their town. Try looking at the view from the other side of the fence. Chain bars are downtown and in the city. Helen’s, Growlers, J.Bucks, etc … multiple locations isn’t a bad thing, it just means that particular entreprenuer is doing something right. It’s important to remember that chain restaurants were a one-shop-job at one time..
Lastly, I admire those who live in the city, it’s just not a lifestyle I particularly favor. I prefer having a yard with more sq footage in my home with ample space over having the ability to walk down to the market store and be in the center of all the action. Despite what those of you “city dwellers” may think, we are not discriminating against any of you, nor are we irritated when you have no idea where Flint Hill or Moscow Mills or Winghaven are. Clearly you take where you live much more personal than any of the ‘burbs’ do, which is certainly your choice. You will not find a blog of ‘burbers’ writing about how we get so irritated because you lump us into one massive geographical span – our time is much more precious as we’d rather be cutting our grass with our new riding mower and keeping it perfectly green with fertilizer or driving to the nearest chain restaurant to get our typical meal than writing about how moving outside of the city limits of St. Louis constitutes ‘giving up’ … geez people. We’re not amish folks riding in horse and buggy anymore…
Too close to home, and too near the bone-
I was a city dweller for four years before I got married and sold my loft on Locust to Steve Patterson (Steve-hope you enjoy living there. Have you had to use the heat yet? I didn’t for nearly three years!) I enjoyed living there, but my new wife simply didn’t want to live downtown. I also left the military and tried hard to find engineering work downtown (before the wedding), came up empty for four+ months of trying, and then found work at Boeing. I always wanted to walk to work, but just couldn’t arrange it at the time.
We now have a modest suburban house in Md Heights and are expecting a baby. The joke hurts a little because it’s somewhat true–I find myself doing something that wasn’t at all in my plans four years ago. But, the flip side is that we are walking distance from both elementary and high school, and 1/3 the distance to my office compared to the old loft. I drive much less overall than I did living downtown. Yes, I don’t make it to all the city restaurants as often anymore, but it’s not like I had the money to do that all the time anyway, even when I lived there.
In our defense, we bought a smaller home than we could afford. We don’t need a “lawn tractor.” We don’t have a 3-car garage, and we don’t intend to get a large SUV. We look forward to having a garden and growing some of our own fruit and vegetables, and we avoid Applebees as we always have.
Here’s a fun debate–does it ever make sense (from an environmental or city living advocate’s perspective) to live in the suburbs, if one’s work, friends, school are all close by? Or is it still better to live in the city and drive much, much more?
Yes it makes sense to live in the suburbs for lots of reasons. No debate at all. Here’s another question. Does it make sense to continue to build new subdivisions at the edge of suburbia, chewing up farmland and building new infrastructure, schools, and…when existing neighborhoods and infrastructure go underutilized?
I actually think most of the people I know who live in the City of St. Louis are a little more snobby and and a little more condescending towards those that choose to live elsewhere than vice versa, but that’s just my experience. But then again, you probably never interact with folks in the burbs or exurbs, so I assume you are basing your little rant on stereotypes, which is quite ironic when you think about it.
I didn’t read any “little rants” in this thread. I think that what might above be attributed to “snobbery” is people referencing and criticizing urban sprawl. I do think the soul of urban sprawl, if you will, is what I would call “placelessness”: sprawlsville in Atlanta and sprawlsville in Bismarck tend to look pretty much alike, dotted with the same Wal Marts, chain restaurants, and strip centers, traversed by people in cars. It is an aesthetically starved atmosphere. I find it utterly depressing. It is erroneous to describe urban sprawl as “growth”, at least in a positive sense. A brain tumor is “growth”, strictly speaking, but who wants one? It is simply replication of government and services, wasteful and superfluous, inefficient use of public funds and natural resources and fabrication of a generic, featureless landscape with the same, formulaic, (+/-) nondescript character in all 50 states.
Now, those who now go into a slobbering “little rant” for my snobby lack of “respect” for their “choice” to live in such an environment for the schools, comparatively lower crime rates, etc., are missing the point: so much of the prototypical urban ills of St. Louis and numerous other cities are entrenched, exacerbated and exist in the first place precisely because of urban sprawl’s steady dilution of resources, population and public dollars. We’re a throw-away culture. Urban sprawl is an expression of that. I don’t think that is merely a spiteful criticism based in my peevish opinion. If terms like “throw-away culture” and “urban sprawl” have any common currency at all, it is fact. Americans may throw away their cities in the quest for “something more/better”, but European cities have thrived for many centuries. Ours were built to do the same, but ultimately, Americans essentially want much more than they need. I’m afraid that having more than one needs is, perversely, often a symbol of accomplishment. Economic meltdown, anyone?
All this said, I think that buying a home is a deeply personal choice. That does not mean that all choices are equally good or responsible, any more than it means that all city people are virtuous and all exurbanites are minions of Satan. However, where we spend our mortgage money and much of our lives reflects our willingness to partake of something and perpetuate it.
Too true and we will pay dearly for this: “so much of the prototypical urban ills of St. Louis and numerous other cities are entrenched, exacerbated and exist in the first place precisely because of urban sprawl’s steady dilution of resources, population and public dollars. We’re a throw-away culture. Urban sprawl is an expression of that.”
– –
Easier to move on and build new then correct the mistakes made by others. As long as farm land and other natural resources remain low in the profit maximizing model, we will continue on this self destructive path. Political leadership and its weakness for campaign revenues exacerbate these problems.
LMFAO off he said, “i’m no longer gay, im gonna get me a wife and kids.” pffffffff
And on a darker note this guy is a ricist fsck: “I Wouldn’t dare expose them to those of different races or incomes. Going to the Mexican chain off I-70 is diverse enough.”
No one can dispute that.
I’m not sure what caused this, but seriously? I’d like for people to stop knocking the city for it’s many ills. But that’s not going to happen if we knock Wentzville for theirs.
Wentzville beats the balls off the city…
Be sure to lock every window and door, citydwellers….. Be as liberal as you want with your ideals, but the fact of the matter is there is a lot of criminals in the St. Louis. Yeah yeah, I know, they’re all helpless victims of “reaganomics”, but there is a reason the city ranks so high in the WORST categories (STDs, murder, auto thefts etc)
I dont know why the blogs like this exist……why is it a big deal where people live??? Iam going to assume the author of this post does not have kids?? If not then living in the city is great….You do not find many single people out in the burbs and for good reason. Most are familys with 2 or more children who what a more stable environment for their kids. Sorry its true.
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