Oh how I hate that stupid question. It seems to automatically presume that everyone is from St. Louis originally; it is the foundation of the “us v. them” mentality that is so pervasive in this city – it is completely dismissive of the notion that anyone might actually move here in adulthood, a way to automatically brand someone as an outsider. But even if I were from St. Louis originally (or were planning to stay here much longer), I’d still hate that question for its overt nosiness. Here in St. Louis – where so many parents send their kids to private, often religious religious high schools – the question indicates much more than curiosity about a person’s alma mater. It’s a not-so-subtle way of asking, “do you still live near your parents? Are your parents rich? Are you ‘old’ or ‘new’ money? How smart are you? What’s your religion?” To ask those questions outright of a new acquaintance would be highly insulting, but to veil it being a benign question about high school is apparently acceptable.

i moved to st louis to teach in the city school system, so i would ask this question before i even knew it was the “st louis question”, because i was interested in learning more about how the city school district had changed over the years. if i meet an old time st louis person, i still ask the question because i like talking about the history of SLPS.

Cincinnati is also known for the High School question.  I was visiting Cincy on business years ago and speaking with a local who assumed I was also local.  He popped the “where did you go to school” question and I said “Trenton State, but they call it the College of New Jersey now”.  He grinned and said “Oh, I see” .  Later a colleague who was with me and was also local explained that he meant what HS I went to.   I was baffled by this, couldn’t imagine why anyone would care.  In the northeast such a question is assumed to be in reference to what college you went to.   Kate, in her comment, may be on to why the question is asked, although I would guess that if you’re from one of these regions and have been getting the question your whole adult life, it likely becomes an ice-breaker question for a lot of folks.

I’ve been asked that question lots of times.  And I’ve asked just as often.  It’s more of a conversation starter than a form of profiling.  But I could see how outsiders (non-St. Louisians) could see differently.  But nowadays, you are more likely to get “I didn’t go to high school”.

i’m a STL native and went to a private, catholic high school in the city (in the mid 90s). i never felt superior to public school kids or kids that went to cheaper schools. it just never crossed my mind. i do think living outside of STL for a while has raised my awareness with regard to assuming people are natives, and so i realize the odds are pretty high that the high school question isn’t applicable in a given situation. HOWEVER, i think people are blowing the issue WAY out of proportion. like David said, STL is not the only place where this occurs, and i’d be willing to bet it’s fairly common across the U.S. sure, the question may have arisen a few generations ago as a way to discriminate against the poor, various immigrant groups, various faiths etc. but i strongly doubt, these days and in most instances, that the question is anything more than an attempt to ascertain common acquaintances. in other words it’s an ice-breaker — one that becomes less and less relevant the older you get — but i think people are imbuing it with a perniciousness that just isn’t there. the fact is that STL is and has been a slow-growth region for quite some time so this type of thing is to be expected. and frankly i think it’s a little ridiculous when i hear transplants getting all worked up about it. just inform the person that you’re not “from here” and move on. eventually, when in-migration picks up and locals realize that the dynamic has changed, the question will fade away.

As usual, much ado about nothing!  It’s like saying, “Nice day, huh?”  The response, “How DARE you assume that it’s a nice day for ME!  My dog died last night … and YOU think it’s a NICE DAY.  How parochial!  How uncaring!  How …. St. Louis like you are!  Boo Hoo

If the question wasn’t useful, it wouldn’t continue to be asked. That is, most people in StL are from StL so the question has social currency. As for the general idea that it only reflects a private school ethos, that is not true. Again, it wouldn’t be so widely used if that was the case. The question is just as valid for someone who went to Soldan, Normandy, St. Mary’s, or MICDS. Any class or racial content is really more reflective of the highly segregated nature of St. Louis, not the question itself. 
The problem often seems that people read into the question their own feelings. To wit, “But even if I were from St. Louis originally (or were planning to stay here much longer), I’d still hate that question for its overt nosiness.” It is nosy to you, but when it is posed to me, it is the questioner’s way to find out some information. What the questioner does with that information is often to see if we might know common people. Sometimes it is to categorize and judge. Hard to make a blanket judgment for each case. But more importantly, most St. Louisians are fiercely proud of their high schools. That is the case even if your school is considered by West County fat cats as below them. For those people, what high school you went to doesn’t matter – they haven’t already known you from before so you probably don’t matter anyway.

So see, logically the question really isn’t meant to be offensive. 

I now live in North Carolina.  The other day two marines were visiting here.  One I knew to be from Michigan and the other had a neutral accent which gave some indication but nothing firm like someone from Brooklyn.  Were did you come from, I asked to the younger guy about 30.  From all over.  So were your folks in the military, are you a military brat?  Yeah.  Mostly California.  Where did you go to high school?
I asked that last quetion because the answer would reveal where he was when he was of that point in time when he graduated and moved into the next level and where he graduated from would indicate several things.  If he said Thomas More School for the Deaf it would say something.  San Jose Public Number Six would say something.
To those of you who dont want to reveal that you grew up in Jennings or Ladue then get real.  If you say Saint Louis University and then they ask if you are a good Catholic then you can start taking offense.  My dad went to Soldan, Class of 1920.  That says a lot. 
When you ask the question, ask it precisely:  Where did you go to high school?  It is innocuous enough.  We dont care if they went on to Harvard or Yale.  If they went to Affton in the seventies maybe they knew so and so. 

The question works anywhere in the world.  I ask it in London, New Delhi, Hong Kong, Boston.  

An annoying question asked by dullards who have nothing more interesting to talk about

I lived in Colorado for thirty years and the question never came up; the question there was more likely to be “Where did you grow up?” or “Where are you from?”  In fact, one of the iconic bumper stickers out there looks like Colorado license plate (green with mountains on the top) that simply states “NATIVE” (you don’t see a lot of them).

I think Kate nailed many of the issues.  Given the stagnant local economy and the limited in-migration, I kinda get why this feels insular on several levels.  The real question is whether this is good or bad in the long run?  Competition can be a scary thing . . . .

The question of parish comes up frequently. Even without verifying that someone is in fact Catholic or religious at all, inquiring minds will often mutter, “Oh, so you were in St. Signeezius’s parish, that Father Dave is so nice!” or something along those lines. These tend to be older folk.